Brief Lapse

Well, a blog isn’t a blog unless it lapses for a while and then returns. Believe me, I wanted to keep posting, but blog law prohibited it. The punishment for disobeying blog law is either death or someone posting a disparaging comment about you on twitter. I’m not sure which punishment is worse, but both weren’t … Continue reading


Political Asylum

Last Sunday, I performed at one of my favourite comedy rooms in Melbourne, Political Asylum at the Brunswick Green. Here is the one-man sketch piece I performed. My Eric Abetz impression was flawless, my Jacqui Lambie impression incredibly flawed. Roll the dramatic theme music because here it is, a special edition of 4 Corners. 4 Corners Special … Continue reading

Earth Drill

The Earth Is Flat Trailer

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is only days away, which means a month of exhilaration, exhaustion and a terrible diet awaits me. I’ve pulled my special effects team together and filmed this trailer for my show The Earth Is Flat. Please share with anyone you think might be interested. It’s an informative clip and I’m … Continue reading


As If You’d Like (insert), It’s Just (insert)

Full disclosure, I am a Formula 1 fan. The Melbourne Grand Prix was last weekend, which means I’ve endured quite a few negative conversations about the sport. Of course, no one has to like F1. It might not be your thing, or perhaps you have environmental concerns. All fine. But I am sick of people … Continue reading

A Foot, Face & Torso In The Door – #doored

I’ve been cycling in Melbourne for a number of years and I’ve been doored a few times with many more near misses. Strangely the people responsible for the near misses are almost always apologetic, but if you hit a door I find you immediately cop a spray. Apparently, as the cyclist, it’s all your fault. … Continue reading


Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2014

The Melbourne Comedy Festival is almost upon us once again. It’s the time of year where myself and other comics from across the country, desperately work on our shows and sell our organs to pay for poster printing. The festival begins March 26… oh God, that’s not far away at all. Ah! Ah! *Jumps out … Continue reading


The Lorde Conspiracy

After Triple J’s Australia Day Hottest 100 Countdown, Lach Ryan & I sat down to discuss the success of Lorde. What we uncovered (in a The New exclusive) was an ancient conspiracy surrounding the young singer. The Lorde Conspiracy (download le file) Follow The New podcast on Facebook Or on that bloody twitter thing all the … Continue reading


Duck & Cover Your Tracks

Recently, a blog post of mine on hunting received a bit of attention and ire from duck hunters. As ducking hunting was only a small aspect of the piece, I thought I’d better clarify my position before I’m berated by any more Elmer Fudds. Strictly speaking I’m not fully against duck hunting. I’m for the … Continue reading

steam strain ed

Mind the Gap, Please

Hey train enthusiasts, I have an article in this month’s The Melbourne Review – talkin’ East West Tunnel and Melbourne’s train system vs the rest of the world Read here


Serving Suggestion

I usually don’t like to whine about cafes or restaurants. Those in hospitality are hard working and are in the unenviable position of having to deal with people like me on a daily basis. But I must complain about cafes who place a serviette or napkin on the plate under focaccias, paninis and sandwiches. What … Continue reading


Battlefield Edinburgh Gardens

Edinburgh Gardens on New Year’s Eve was all hell, I tells ya…


The New Xmas Special

Greetings! One of my favourite things to do during the week is drink wine and talk nonsense with Lach Ryan. One day we thought, “Why don’t we record our mindless banter?” And that’s the fictional tale of how The New podcast was born. In reality, the show was created after extensive focus group polling. But … Continue reading


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