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Another Saucy Update

To be fair, the ad to the left isn’t lying: no one grows ketchup like Heinz. It’s largely due to the fact you can’t grow ketchup, but technically they’re not being dishonest. Perhaps they do grow ketchup? For all I know there could be fields of Heinz trees growing sauce bottles, sachets and tins of … Continue reading

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Folklore & Order – The Ghost Brigade Pt 8

Clifton and Pip hurried out of the Military Academy. “What did you make of that?” asked Clifton. “It left me wanting to play charades. What am I now?” said Pip, striking-up a mime. “An idiot in four fifths of a diving suit?” Pip laughed normally, Clifton noted. “What’s your plan?” asked Pip. “Do we give them … Continue reading

Comedy throwbacks: ha ha etc.

Comedy Throwback – Awkward Meeting Sketch

Welcome to my comedy throwbacks. I’m sitting in a dressing gown, with a cravat, nursing a glass of brandy and sitting by a roaring fire. I know it’s the middle of 40 degree summer in Australia; I was just trying to create a mood. Anyway, now that you have the image of an old man … Continue reading

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Folklore & Order – The Ghost Brigade Pt 7

READ PREVIOUS INSTALLMENT  The Ghost Brigade Part 7 “Pip, look at this!” said Clifton. Pip ran over to the statue. “Woh,” she said. “And look at this!” “That’s a frog,” said Clifton. “I know; I love nature.” Clifton led the pair to the school’s entrance. Behind them, the statues glowed. He pushed the doors open … Continue reading

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Folklore & Order – The Ghost Brigade Pt 6

“It feels like we’ve been rowing for hours,” complained Pip. Clifton shot back at her with a few points about the nature of time, but Pip was unamused. The argument engrossed the pair so much that neither noticed the dinghy had sank and they were standing waist deep in water. “Pointing a torch at a … Continue reading

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Folklore & Order – The Ghost Brigade Pt 5

“Duck!” cried Clifton. A strong breeze had blown a page of the local paper in his face containing the opinion piece his rubber duck had written about him. He couldn’t understand most of it, but there were enough uppercase QUACKs for him to know the article was scathing. Clifton spied the cannon. “Get your head … Continue reading

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Folklore & Order – The Ghost Brigade Pt 4

Clifton arrived to the river early. First light was breaking over the water and Clifton admired the beauty of the blue-green algae. The surface bubbled and Pip emerged from the water in a 19th century diving suit. “Pip? What are you doing?” asked Clifton. “Early morning swim,” said Pip, unscrewing the helmet. “Isn’t that suit … Continue reading

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Folklore & Order – The Ghost Brigade Pt 3

“I’m here to see the Mayor,” announced Clifton. “Right,” began the Mayor’s receptionist, “did you want to see her in person, or are you wanting to see a photo of her?” “In person. Mayor Birch has asked to see me,” said Clifton. “Ok, but are you sure? It’s quite a nice photo. It’s just a … Continue reading

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AAA Report Card? Meh

We have a new Government in Victoria. The Libs have been run out of town on their own freeway. The end of a one term Government came with a degree of lamenting and eulogising from the conservative side of politics. James Patterson from the Institute of Public Affairs (or SPECTRE as they are known in the James … Continue reading

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Folklore & Order – The Ghost Brigade Pt 2

The entire town lined the riverbank, waiting for the race. “Except pat,” said Pip, breaking the established convention of an omnipotent narrator. The town’s grand Rowing Club building was situated on the riverbank, as was the River Bank: a financial institution where people could deposit large bodies of water. The local basketball stadium was also … Continue reading

Web Edit

Sauce – MICF

Registrations for the 2015 Melbourne International Comedy Festival opened on the 1st of October and closed on the 21st of November, giving artists plenty of time to leave their registration ’til the last minute. The main elements of the registration are finding a venue, uploading images for the show and writing the blurbs. The blurbs … Continue reading

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Meat?

I’ve been eating less meat; far less. I wasn’t eating more than most: medieval style banquets weren’t the norm. But now I’m consuming much less than the average. It was a conscious decision. Don’t worry, I didn’t accidentally lock myself into a greenhouse, leaving me nothing to eat but azaleas and I haven’t been blacklisted by … Continue reading

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