insect monster

Attack of the Cupboard Insects!

I don’t want to alarm you all, but I’m under attack by giant prehistoric insects. And by “attack” I mean I’ve seen some strange bugs in my house and I’ve interpreted the creatures going about their business as an organised assault. The insects seem to like my clothes and some are large enough to wear … Continue reading

ketchup-bottle

Saucy Update

Ok, that title is misleading. The update isn’t saucy in an erotic sense, but not everything has to be about sex, you smutty bastards! Anyway, since confessing a dislike for tomato sauce, scores of people have come forward to share their stories and show support. Comments have ranged from “I thought I was the only … Continue reading

Folklore & Order – The Shadow Imp

“It’s times like these I wish I invested in a portable tavern,” said Clifton as he dismounted from an emu. “Flightless bird polo is thirsty work.” Pip laughed as though she’d just stormed the Dardanelles. “Everyone can dream,” she said, “except me since the accident.” Flightless bird polo was a curious sport played on a … Continue reading

tomatosauce25

Saucy Confession

Confession: I don’t like tomato sauce. Never have and never will. There, I said it. Don’t judge me and please don’t throw rocks or bottles, especially sauce bottles. It was tough growing up in Australia and not liking tomato sauce. Drenching foods with sub-par nutritional value in liquid tomato is expected of you. “What? Everyone … Continue reading

Folklore & Order – The Fishmen Pt 2

Read part 1 The pair sat in a coffee shop in the centre of town discussing Clifton’s next move. Conversation soon moved to the Fishmen, as they figured their game of snakes and ladders was distracting them from the task at hand. Finding the Fishmen would be difficult. There were several versions of the Fishmen … Continue reading

Folklore & Order – The Fishmen Pt 1

“Batten down the hatches, loose cannon, shiver my timbers, three sheets to the wind, even keeled,” listed Clifton. “I don’t think this is working.” Clifton was attempting a form of exposure therapy. His sister, Pip, suggested he list nautical expressions to cure his fear of water. “Try it again in a pirate accent,” said Pip. … Continue reading

fringe logo

Off to the Melbourne Fringe Festival

It’s Melbourne Fringe Festival time and I’ll be performing the show I debuted at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, The Earth is Flat. Rehearsals, editing and rejigging elements of the show are long underway. One of the best parts about live performance is that the show evolves over time and when you’ve had a gap … Continue reading

The Earth is Flat - Melbourne Fringe Festival 27th Sept - Oct 4th

The Earth is Flat – Melbourne Fringe Festival

  Coming to the Melbourne Fringe Festival In the Middle Ages, Cardinal Zotroid, the leader of a rebellious sect of Catholics that believed the earth was flat, was turned into a statue by the Pope. Reanimated in the present day and shown proof the world is round, Zotroid hires Clive Palmer to saw the Earth in half … Continue reading

We are Traders Large

We Are Traders – Free!

Hello there blogland. Today I launch my new ebook We Are Traders by making it free through Amazon Kindle. I developed the story by posting the first few chapters on this very blog under the title Principle Investment. I enjoyed writing the story and the character name Jenson “Dynamic Haircut” Jones so much, I finished the … Continue reading

Brief Lapse

Well, a blog isn’t a blog unless it lapses for a while and then returns. Believe me, I wanted to keep posting, but blog law prohibited it. The punishment for disobeying blog law is either death or someone posting a disparaging comment about you on twitter. I’m not sure which punishment is worse, but both weren’t … Continue reading

fourCorners

Political Asylum

Last Sunday, I performed at one of my favourite comedy rooms in Melbourne, Political Asylum at the Brunswick Green. Here is the one-man sketch piece I performed. My Eric Abetz impression was flawless, my Jacqui Lambie impression incredibly flawed. Roll the dramatic theme music because here it is, a special edition of 4 Corners. 4 Corners Special … Continue reading

Earth Drill

The Earth Is Flat Trailer

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is only days away, which means a month of exhilaration, exhaustion and a terrible diet awaits me. I’ve pulled my special effects team together and filmed this trailer for my show The Earth Is Flat. Please share with anyone you think might be interested. It’s an informative clip and I’m … Continue reading

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